My Head’s in a Swirl

Things for the most part are settling down. Both kids are married. All grandkids are healthy and accounted for. My son moved into his first house in July. My granddaughter is a freshman in high school. She plans ahead and is thinking about Homecoming. 

Things have gone sideways quickly. My Dad fell, and though outwardly it seemed like simple cuts, his balance is gone. All he wants to do is sleep. He finds holding on to his wallet comforting. I know he has a photograph of his mother tucked away inside. He refuses to eat. We tempt him with chocolate, and he says no. He takes one sip of a chocolate milkshake and says enough. A visit to the doctor on Wednesday and a ct scan reveals a brain bleed. Nothing can be done when you are nearly 98 years old. 

He is admitted into Kaiser Roseville and is receiving non-invasive comfort care. He is there nearly 5 days. In the entire time he woke once and sang two lines from Que sera sera. The next time he awoke he recognized my son Joshua, said “I love you, I love you” to my mother and ate two cups of applesauce. Well, he also sucked on my son’s finger then bit down hard. Poor Josh. Dad then returned to his sleeping position. He tries to scratch his nose, but misses the mark. Looks like he is failing his dui test. I scratch it for him and he goes back to sleep. Rabbi stopped by and said a prayer. I think he heard.

They couldn’t keep him at the hospital so on Sunday he was move to a skilled nursing facility in Fair Oaks. This move really got to me. It is now 2:30 in the morning and I am here watching him sleep. Without food and water he is becoming a shell of himself. 

My Mom is scared. The stress is adding to her already confused self. But after a couple of days she is allowing us to take care of her. Sometimes in her mind she is back in a house she sold 26 years ago. I am dealing with two patients. Now add some regular family day to day issues, various family personalities, and I’m beginning to feel drained. Then there are different ways grief is hitting each one. This is a low time. Of course it is now 3 a.m. And my younger brother will relieve me after he rests. 

This photo was taken over a year ago. He is amazed at what the iPad can do. Grabbed a photo. 

2 thoughts on “My Head’s in a Swirl

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