You Never Know… 

Time to make a change. With my parent’s death I pondered how this will affect me. Thinking I have less on my mind I found that I have been trying to find a way to simplify. One idea I had was to finally make my house exactly how I want it and remodel my house of 31 years. The other idea was moving.  Back and forth we went.  So in June I started to investigate. Live through a remodel or move.

The Internet makes looking easier. I looked out of town, and out of state, or stay in the area. I drove out to see a 55+ Del Web community, but it didn’t feel right for us. Looked at nearby community of Gold River, a group of villages with varying HOAs. A possibility, but not quite.  Then on June 4th we looked at a couple of open houses. Walked into a house that felt right, and we made an offer. Back and forth, and on Tuesday July 11th we signed the papers. Recorded on July 12th, and we have a new house. The actual move won’t happen until the first week in October. Since this actually was a fast decision I now have time to get my house ready for sale. Of course, this also means looking at all the stuff accumulated over the years of raising two kids, grandkids and job paperwork.

Should be celebrating, but instead I have been spending time at Kaiser Hospital in Roseville. You  never know. My 15 year old granddaughter had emergency surgery for appendicitis on July 11th. Turn out it was much more serious, and her appendix burst. Pulls through surgery only to be back in the hospital two weeks later because of an abscess from the surgery.  The day before school started in early August, the drainage tube was removed. Alyssa did not have much of a summer vacation.

Sacramento weather has been particularly hot. No days under 90 degrees. I spent August preparing to sell my house. Decluttering, packing, organizing. I learned that I am an organized person who saves everything. I have files filled with receipts going way back. If I stop to look at them it can be amusing. Seeing the cost of things, how long some appliances last, the number of times I fixed the same item.

I had a storage box of memories. I kept my kids artwork from first scribble. I dated these pictures and wrote what it was about. First teddy bear, first shoes, every Mother’s Day card, every story and homework project saved. This made for a fun trip down memory lane. I then got two bags and passed this along to my children. They probably recycled all of it.

I also found a box of correspondence I saved since moving to California in 1978. This must have been the last time I purged my stuff.  Long 6 page letters from busy mothers with young children. With the coming of cell phones and reduced costs the letters stopped. We now catch up a couple of times a year, or follow each other on Facebook.  This blog serves as my journal, and my need to record my thoughts. Somethings don’t change. Are you a saver or do you quickly discard?

Delayed posting this blog because I wanted to add some photos that I had on my iPhone 5s. That proved problematic.  Photos were too pixilated.  I guess I should figure this out before I plan to use iPhone photos here. So I will end now sans photos.

My Head’s in a Swirl

Things for the most part are settling down. Both kids are married. All grandkids are healthy and accounted for. My son moved into his first house in July. My granddaughter is a freshman in high school. She plans ahead and is thinking about Homecoming. 

Things have gone sideways quickly. My Dad fell, and though outwardly it seemed like simple cuts, his balance is gone. All he wants to do is sleep. He finds holding on to his wallet comforting. I know he has a photograph of his mother tucked away inside. He refuses to eat. We tempt him with chocolate, and he says no. He takes one sip of a chocolate milkshake and says enough. A visit to the doctor on Wednesday and a ct scan reveals a brain bleed. Nothing can be done when you are nearly 98 years old. 

He is admitted into Kaiser Roseville and is receiving non-invasive comfort care. He is there nearly 5 days. In the entire time he woke once and sang two lines from Que sera sera. The next time he awoke he recognized my son Joshua, said “I love you, I love you” to my mother and ate two cups of applesauce. Well, he also sucked on my son’s finger then bit down hard. Poor Josh. Dad then returned to his sleeping position. He tries to scratch his nose, but misses the mark. Looks like he is failing his dui test. I scratch it for him and he goes back to sleep. Rabbi stopped by and said a prayer. I think he heard.

They couldn’t keep him at the hospital so on Sunday he was move to a skilled nursing facility in Fair Oaks. This move really got to me. It is now 2:30 in the morning and I am here watching him sleep. Without food and water he is becoming a shell of himself. 

My Mom is scared. The stress is adding to her already confused self. But after a couple of days she is allowing us to take care of her. Sometimes in her mind she is back in a house she sold 26 years ago. I am dealing with two patients. Now add some regular family day to day issues, various family personalities, and I’m beginning to feel drained. Then there are different ways grief is hitting each one. This is a low time. Of course it is now 3 a.m. And my younger brother will relieve me after he rests. 

This photo was taken over a year ago. He is amazed at what the iPad can do. Grabbed a photo.