Family – Page 8 – A Photo's Worth

So many choices, so little time

My parents were very diligent and took great care with photographs. Essentially their photographic life started for them after WWII. At first they used corners on each picture, and my Dad carefully lettered the page. Later they moved on to using self sticking albums. Later still, they added slides, a case, a projector (built like a truck), and screen. Again each is labeled. They treasured these memories. Once when the family was living overseas in Karachi, Pakistan and the idea that we might have to be evacuated arrangements were made to keep the albums safe.

All of this is now at my house. And I need to think about what to do with this history. In truth, I favor looking at the older family photos. Starting to piece together my parents life in Europe before 1945. I found some documents with photographs on their ghetto cards. These ID cards were required by the Germans. The scanned images are poor, but with a bit of work I can see my mother around the age of 14 years. I need to get in touch and see if I can get a better scan. When I started my family genealogy in the 1980’s I uncovered a family photograph from my father’s side taken when a family member visited. As often the case after a visit a photo is placed in an album and the others in the photograph never sees the image. Luckily, in talking to this cousin my father was able to see the last photo of his mother and family before the Shoah.

My parents documented their extensive travels. These beautiful landscapes hold less interest for me. Maybe I should catch the travel bug while I still can travel. When the family scatters, group photos only happened at times of celebration. A few weeks ago my family gathered to celebrate a wedding. So nice when the occasion is such a happy one. My brother’s marriage now extends my family into Argentina. The last time I studied Spanish was in 9th grade (some 55 years ago). I wasn’t any good at it, and rolling those R’s near impossible. I am trying out Duolingo and Babbel. But if I am serious I will check out some of the other online learning programs. So far in Duolingo I can only drink aqua or leche. I can eat una manzana or él pan. Just figured out how to put in accent marks on my iMac. But probably there are more interesting things to eat. Don’t want to live on bread and water! Has anyone had a good experience with a language program for conversational Spanish?

Am I spreading myself out too thin? Sometimes I feel like I should just stick with one thing, but then I get pulled in another direction. You can probably tell from the way this post is flying all over the place. Maybe I need to figure out just what I want from my life. I just retired from babysitting my grandkids. Another story for another day. Not good. Photography connects many of my directions. Learning, travel, connecting, collecting memories, and family genealogy. This I share in my blog. I sometimes share on my Flickr site, but Facebook needs my attention if I want to connect with my local peeps. I will try and wean myself off of following FB and use my time differently. Continuing to search my genealogy ties draws me into the Holocaust and my Second Gen family friends. Such a great group of friends. I just want to find out my parents, and grandparents’ story. Now I’m thinking of Spanish? Will I ever travel again? Then I need time to do my yoga stretches and my therapy exercises to get rid of my plantar fasciitis. I need to kick up my activity level just to stay in shape. Libby has been getting the short end of the stick since my plantar fasciitis kicked in. No daily walks, just play time in the backyard.

Ok I’m a bit panicked. I have spent the better part of this month reorganizing my photo collection in Lightroom CC. Thought I knew what I was doing, but somehow keywords for 6000 images were deleted. Finally got it back, backed up the photos, and the catalog, and right now my images are not synched with my catalog. I know this is more tech info than most want to know, but I wanted to add images to this post, and I can’t. Time to walk away from the computer and hope that the backup problem resolves soon. 15 more minutes to complete second backup. Technology is great when it works! Sorry no images today. Got to figure out Lightroom synch.

It all takes time. I just hope I can figure out what I want to accomplish and have time to do just that! That’s all I can ask of myself.

New Camera, New Perspective

I wanted a new perspective when out taking picture. I no longer say, “Out shooting.” I wanted to add human interest into my images. With that in mind, I purchased a new single focus small camera. The Fuji X100F provides a lot of features in a compact camera. With a 23mm lens (35mm perspective) I now need to zoom with my feet. It is easy to change my settings, and easy to walk around without being too conspicuous. I wouldn’t say this replaces all of my camera equipment, but I have been using it exclusively this past month. I carry this camera everywhere. That’s the way to get to know your gear.

I have already posted some images in a previous blog I took during the March for our Lives event.

1803_24__MarchLives__DSF0095 — Looks like they came to stay!

I have less to worry about when I take my Fuji out for the day. Do I bring other lenses? Should I change lenses now? Which bag do I take? Should I bring my tripod? And then to use or not use that tripod.

With my Fuji camera all I may need is my sunglasses. Usually for a day’s outing I won’t even need an extra battery or memory card. I need to consider the weather though since this camera is not weather sealed. But I am more of a fair weather photo friend anyway.

This past month I took it with me for a family outing to San Francisco. When I am with family I don’t want to make it all about photography. But I do want to capture memories. Kids grow up so fast.

My husband, and two of my grandchildren headed to Richmond making our first stop at the Hunter Hill Safety Rest Area. Over the years I have taken many photographs here on our way to the Bay Area.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0113 — My 16 year old granddaughter always makes a great model.

Picking up my son in Richmond we headed to the Oakland Ferry Building to take a ride to Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0131 — Import/Export – See tankers being loaded and unloaded with cargo.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0134 — Oakland Bay Bridge in the distance

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0140 — What a view going under the Bay Bridge

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0144 — No crowds this morning. Selfie time.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0138 — Oakland Bay Bridge goes through Treasure Island

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0141 — First stop Golden Gate Ferry Building

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0146 — Heading to Fisherman’s Wharf

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0149 — Ride is over and tickets are collected.

With the pleasant, quiet ferry ride over we headed to Fisherman’s Wharf in search of food.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0150 — This street musician captured my eye. I should have gotten a bit closer, but the group was leaving me behind.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0152 — Faced with many choices.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0154 — Warned to watch out for Sea Gulls. This guy had no problem finding food!

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0153 — Now the Sea Gull travels in style!

After lunch we head over the the Musee Mecanique

This free museum was full of action this Tuesday.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0181

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0169 — Pinball Attention

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0172 — Granddaughter and her Aunt

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0174 — Glad this mirror is not in my house!

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0179 — Not easy to get everyone in a photograph

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0171

We walk up to North Beach in search of the perfect slice of pizza.

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0189 — Cyclists getting instructions

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0192 — Segway getting instructions

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0185 — Tie Dyed in San Francisco

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0190 — Hot Lips

1803_27__SanFrancisco__DSF0195 — Yummy Gelato!

Tired and ready to take an Uber to the Ferry Building and head back to Oakland.

FYI for the price of the ferry we were able to park in a covered garage in Oakland! Not a bad way to travel!

Fun day for everyone!

More about my camera adventures to come

Decisions

It’s time to find my own way in the world. The past few weeks have past quickly, and I feel driven to make some important decisions. Time to face the fact that life has an end, and I need to make the most of my time.

My garage filled with my parents belongings. It was hard to leave the house and pass by the totality of their possessions. My need for order sent me into a frenzy of organizing. The large items such as the huge California king bed, frame and damaged furniture went curbside for trash removal. Usable furniture found new homes with some new refugees. Since my parents entered this country as refugees with empty paper suitcases this felt like a good call. Some items I brought into my home as my mother would want. My bedroom has three lamps brought over by my Great Aunt Shoshana from Shanghai after World War II. I have seen them in my mother’s room my entire life. They now sport new lampshades, and I enjoy seeing them on my nightstand.

I saved some items of clothing from my father and mother. Vitas, the hospice organization that helped my mother in the last week, sent me a note that volunteers can create a memory bear out of these materials. I finally gathered the items, wrote a bit about why the items were chosen, and I will ask for 3 bears (one for me, my daughter, and granddaughter) be created uniting clothing from both my parents in one bear each.

Getting my garage cleaned out is almost done. I have been thinking of getting a new car, and I want to be able to park inside. After 8 weeks I finally can park my car in the garage. Yeah! Kind of narrowed it down to 3 choices. I am looking for a SUV. Toyota Highlander, Subaru Forester or Subaru Outback. But I need to test drive them to see how I like the feel. Think I will be checking cars out this week. Been looking at all kind of cars in the parking lots. And silly as this sounds, color has importance in my decision also. Maybe I should get a hybrid. You never know about the price of gas. Probably will make this decision this week.

My parent’s passing has also brought new factors into play. I have lived in my house for 31 years. There was no way I could think of moving away from this area after I brought my parents to Sacramento 9 years ago. Now we should decide if we want to remain here in Sacramento, or leave the city, state, or country.

At the end of 2016 I was planning on remodeling inside and out. Now before I take on expense and aggravation we should decide where we want to live. After some thought and dreaming we ruled out moving to the Bay Area.That would be bucking the trend: moving from more expensive to a lower cost of living. Wanting to find a place on a single level I checked out a Del Web retirement community. I saw some nice 2 bedroom layouts with about the same square footage, and a small landscaped yard. Plenty of activities to do, and a monthly fee for participation. This also didn’t quite seem right. Too much like following my parents path. They sold their houses and moved to Del Web in Sun City West, Arizona. For me this would not be as drastic since Roseville is only 20 minutes from my home. But one reason my Mom moved was to get my Dad involved with activities. This doesn’t work. And do I want to live in a retirement community for “active seniors”? It isn’t completely off the table, but it may be near the edge. There is the condo route, and there are only a few that meets my single story garden cottage feel that I am looking for. Increase in property taxes, and high HOA fees are a negative. Staying where I am, and paying for a landscaped yard, doing all remodeling and hiring a gardener and an occasional house cleaner will probably be cheaper. That is as long as we stay in California. I ruled out Florida as a permanent house change. Maybe a short term rental would work. I wouldn’t want to worry about a property on the other side of the country. I decided that I didn’t need to make a decision this quickly anyway.

Vacation plans have us stumped. I need to apply for passports just to be ready to travel. Probably start with a trip to the coast, or Lake Tahoe. A new car will get us on the road. Maybe Libby will join us, or go visit her dog hotel. Many of my friends have taken some fun sounding trips. Any suggestions for a photo loving, laid back trip.

Have you found yourself in this position with many decisions to make, and also have the freedom to make them? How does this make you feel? I move from excited to stressed. Procrastination in not the path I plan to take. Now I need to relax and enjoy the change.

Endings and Beginnings

My Mom is in hospice at North Avenue Villa Board and Care home, and there has been continuous care nurses for the past few days. I respect her wishes to join my Dad, and allow the dying process to control her. Today is day 7 without food or water.

Vitas helps to make sure that she is comfortable. The first couple of days were difficult. Mom was in pain, and the comfort drugs did not make much of a dent. Very hard to watch and hear. My brothers arrived a couple of days into the process, and we take turns sitting by her side. Being able to take a break helps. My daughter provided some delicious home cooked meals. That was a big support.

When my Dad passed away about 5 months ago we knew my mother would want to be with her husband. So no additional funeral planning is necessary.

For most of my life I have taken direction from my responsibilities: education, marriage, jobs, kids, grandkids, and parents. It has been nearly 9 years since I moved my parents to Sacramento. Before that I was traveling back and forth to Arizona to help there. Never experienced empty nest time, and about 3 years ago my oldest grandson came to live with us. I understand that it is hard for young people to start out, but I feel that I now need to grab the reins of my life with my husband.

After my Dad died I had no time to really grieve because I made it my role to take care of Mom the way my Dad had taken care of her. I tried to make this time together a new journey for her. I did not succeed because inevitably Mom never accepted her Arthur’s death. We could spend the day together and suddenly she would say we should check on Dad.

Since I spent many days together I thought it would be interesting to find out about the happier times in my Mom’s life before the Nazis came and destroyed her youth. Each time I visited I picked a new topic: favorite foods, toys, sports. Sometimes I would ask about my grandparents. When I was growing up I heard so little about them. I barely knew more than their name. I wanted to hear what they were like from her 14 year old point of view. Talking like this made time together enjoyable. But sometimes my Mom would drift into sadness, or an agitated Alzheimer state would appear. I never knew what Mom would meet me. I do know that my dog Libby would be ready for all her emotions, and she would smile

For the first time the direction my life takes will be of my own choosing. This takes me out of my comfort zone. Plenty going through my head. I can’t even figure out how life may change. Maybe it is time to figure out my Bucket List. Time is marching along faster and faster and I know that eventually I will become less independent. Need to grab some gusto with my husband and dog Libby!

1611_01_coppsquarry_5074 — My path is opening up. Where will it lead me?

Category: Family